“It’s just like Woodstock ’99 but without the gang rape.” Neil Hamburger, ATP 2008.

Recovery is almost complete and the haze is lifting off the weekend where Mike Patton and The Melvins thrust their favourite bands and musicians through my face and jammed them noisily in my cerebral cortex. I have mulled over the best way to report my musings on the festival for some time now and it's a near impossible task. There is danger everywhere in trying to translate the happenings of such a weekend into a readable bloggy chunk. This problem is probably why I don't write professionally. Anywho, here is an attempt to put some structure to the bubbles popping out of my brain by writing down some facts I have learned.

The Melvins play the scariest version of My Generation I have ever heard.

Israel has a very interesting band that plays on the crowd rather than in front of it. (Monotonix)

Lead singer of the Butthole Surfers is not averse to slapping a woman when being told to leave an eatery at 4 in the morning after passing out with a bottle of JD.

Gypsy folk bands can cause more moshing than Mastadon.

Tron style suits look very cool on stage.

81 was the age of the oldest performer. And his name sounded like an Italian cheese, Bernard Parmegiani. Mmmmm Parmegiani.

It doesn't matter how much you plan you will never see all the acts you want or intend to see.

More festivals should feature metal, hip hop, country, folk and electronica.

King Buzzo from The Melvins allegedly inspired Side Show Bob's haircut.

I can sleep standing up for several minutes before collapse or being woken up.

A waterpistol shaped like a penis is not a good toy to give to a drunk.

Kool Keith is insane. Not in a nice, "wow, he's crazy," kind of way, more of a, "wow, where is his carer?" kind of way. Yet is still amazing, until he freestyles, then not so good.

Rahzel has actually got some new parts to his set and they’re good.

It is possible to fuse Jazz and Grindcore and make it listenable.

Air hockey is better than table football.

I realise there was not much in the way of saying which bands tickled my fancy or which bands

were a wet fart three miles from home. So for those who want to know, check out if you haven't already - Fennez, The Melvins, Fantomas, Kool Keith (particularly his Dr Octogon stuff), Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, White Noise, The Locust, Junior Brown. I was not overly impressed with Mugisen, Isis, Kill Me Tomorrow and Farmers Market. But then what do I know?

My biggest recommendation is that if you haven't gone to an ATP festival make a considered effort to do so. Regardless of who is hosting it and who is playing they are a treat worth savouring. Enjoy watching bands you've never heard of, enjoy the beach, enjoy sleeping in a bed and having a chalet with toilet. The ATPs I have been to have shown me that I love listening to music live, it doesn't matter what type and can enjoy music that I would never buy when put on stage. Actually that's rubbish, there is loads of tossy music I would never listen to just because it's live. I'm not going start a music hate rant now but I was just trying to make the point or be a bit misty eyed about the whole thing. It would probably be better to say that there is a whole load of great music nestled in genres that I would normally avoid.

Mmmm, Minehead

There are two more taking place in May, one hosted by The Breeders and one with the bands picked by the ticket buyers. Go, stop reading this and book tickets. Now.